Bailey is my comic relief

Last night, Bailey wanted a story before bed. I told her we had stayed up too late and that we weren't reading a story last night. She said, "but I wanted you to read Diarrhea of a Lumpy Kid."

Wha --- OH!

Instant cackles.

I said, "Bailey, it's Diary of a Wimpy Kid."

Last week, we went and got Bailey some "playground pals," which are little spandex shorts to wear under skirts and dresses. If you know Bailey, you know she loves to wear both, but teaching her to sit properly all the time is not going as well as I would like for the amount of skirts and dresses she wears. Plus, she's 5, so how much can I really expect her to remember all the time, especially while playing?

We bought her some "playground pals" and were on our way. When we were in the van, I said, "Bailey, that will be nice to have those spanks. Now you won't have to worry about your panties showing when you play."

Bailey: "Why did you just call them spanks?"

Me: Woops. Not wanting to explain the benefits of spanks on thighs and bellies to my 5-year-old, I came up with the following: "Oh, um, that's just what they are called when grownups like me wear them under clothes. But yours are called 'playground pals,' which fits because you like to play on the playground and now you don't have to worry."

Bailey, looking very serious and confused: "So you like to be spanked?"

Me, through fits of laughter: "No, honey, now that you mention it, I have no idea why they are called spanks."

I laughed for a good ten minutes and then time and time again throughout they day after that one.