Does Michael feel pain?

I'm beginning to halfheartedly wonder if I should get him tested to see if his sense of touch is working properly. He's like nothing I've ever seen.

One night while rocking him before bed, he was as squirmy as he's ever been. He kept turning upside down and trying to fall off the chair head first. I wish I were joking. I kept telling him to sit still.

He squirmed. I told him to sit.

He squirmed. I told him to sit.

He squirmed. I told him to sit.

He squirmed. I told him to sit.

Repeat multiple times.

Finally I told him if he wasn't going to sit still I was going to smack his bum. Pause. Pause. Pause. Squirmed to a head-down-ready-to-launch-himself-off-the-chair position. So I smacked his bum and sat him back up.

He whimpered like he was bummed I actually followed through and then proceeded to do it again. I was a little annoyed and almost surprised. He got to the downward facing position again and said, "mack me mommy. mack me mommy. mack me mommy."

Really!?!?!?!

When I ignored his request to "'mack" him, he finally sat up and laid still.

Toenails Schmoenails

I was in Bailey's room one evening talking to her and realized Michael was too quiet. I walked to his room and found him sitting on the floor ripping his own toenail off. Promise. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

 I asked him if that's what he was doing.

"Essss"

I asked him if it hurt.

"Essss"

Then I poured peroxide on his bloody (yes, bloody) toe and put a band aid over it.

You can see why I spend many a day with a goofy look on my face scratching my own head. Will he ever make sense to me?