Is it terrible two's approaching? Is it repayment for all those times we almost drove my mom over the deep end with our constant needs? Is it me not giving her enough attention? Too much attention? Or maybe a way to see how effectively I can tune out my own child?
I don't know, but I want to make it stop before I either
- lose every single bit of my hair with my own hands, or
- every last strand turns gray and I begin to look like a straight jacket would be a perfect gift for my birthday.
"Try not to take your daughter's whining personally if you can help it. Your negative reaction may only reinforce her behavior. If you can ignore it, she'll most likely give up the whining, but she'll find other ways to drive you crazy."Well, Mr. Expert, you may be right about the last part, but ignoring her only makes the pitch audible for dogs' ears alone ... so much for experts. What do other parents say?
- ask her to stop whining and say what she means. [hasn't worked so far]
- use distraction [probably the most effective to date, but still not a sure bet every time]
- offer no reaction [must have been a fan of Dr. Brazelton. Clearly, we're not on the same page here]
- give her no results until she stops whining and asks the right way [this one is good, and I've tried it some, but the hardest part is consistency. Sometimes, I realize that I've learned to tune her out a little too well and don't notice that she's asked for something twice before starting the whining. When it's my fault, I have a hard time not giving her what she wants ... ]
- promise future benefits for not whining. [LOL. I guarantee I will NEVER bribe my child not to whine. Demand it, yes. Bribe it, not a chance!]
- laugh it off [promise that I actually found this as advice online. Let's just say I hope my child doesn't go to school with the kid whose parent just laughed it off. I imagine some major issues popping up later in life. I actually feel sorry for this whiny one.]
And now I'm off to enjoy the few minutes of peace and quiet left in the bliss that is her naptime :)
1 comment:
I agree with the one you chose. Back when Aaron was four (instead of 17!!!) he was a child torn between two households and acted completely different in each. But ... when with us, it was told to him often that the sure way NOT to get what he wanted was to whine about it. That lesson made a trip to Disney with him at age four blissful compared to what I witnessed in other families there.
And you nailed it with the consistency requirement. That is the golden rule of parenting (other than the love) - mean it and stick to it. You know ... whenever possible ;)
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